oh my giddy aunt! page 4

‘A few adventures later, the Doctor met Jo Grant. It was during this period that the Doctor received his ability to pilot the TARDIS back,’ 

An actor playing Jo Grant appeared on stage alongside the Time Lord from earlier.

The 3rd Doctor sang: 

Out among the streets of London I travelled,
From beyond UNIT HQ
In my car Bessie I drove
A car  that I grew attached to here
Now I know how to pilot this ship,
And I’m needed here no more
and I will go exploring once more
All the times I thought I was trapped
All the secret jobs I’ve done
Scientific advisor for an organisation,
With the invasions of the Earth
Never able to pilot my ship,
Where no man has interfered before
And I will go exploring once more 

No it can't be true
I will be trapped for what I wanted to do
Like a man in a prison cell,
I believe I am trapped
Why I'm trapped ‘No, Doctor,’ spoke the Time Lord. ‘We’re really setting you free,’ 

THE DOCTOR
Clearly now, I will go exploring once more          (8) 

~~~

'Eventually, Jo Grant left the Doctor to go off with Professor Clifford Jones. A safer life was theirs to live.  Before too long, the Doctor had a new companion in Sarah Jane Smith. However, when the Doctor found himself against a race of Spiders from Metebilis three, radiation began to kill his body and he was forced to regenerate once more,’ said River as an actor playing Sarah Jane walked on-stage. The 3rd Doctor laid on the floor as Sarah knelt down beside him. 

He turned towards Sarah and began to sing: 

A tear, Sarah Jane?
I don't feel any pain
A little dose of radiation
Can hardly stop me now
You're here, that's all I need to know
And you will keep travelling with me
And I enjoy your company
And radiation will help my body heal
A little dose of radiation
Can hardly stop me now          (9) 

The lights began to dim. They stayed off for a few seconds then lit the stage once more as an actor playing the fourth Doctor appeared. 

~~~ 

Actors playing Romana, Leela, Harry, Adric, Tegan and Nyssa joined Sarah, who was stood beside a chair the Doctor was stood on. The Doctor began to stand up as he sang: 

My pockets of stuff, my packet of Jelly Babies
My long scarf, the length of Simon Cowell’s trousers
My companions from my travels spend their lives in my TARDIS
Robot dog trundling in
He glides through my doors
And they kneel down on the floor 

Welcome, my friend, stand over there
And meet the best Doctor in space
As for the rest, all of 'em average
A grumpy old man, a cosmic hobo and a man of action
Sarah do you see
Time travellers like me
A gent of good intent 

Who's prone to danger
Doctor of the TARDIS, bulging out the eyes
Ready with the Jelly Babies and a long scarf
Has a long adventure, defeats the little pepperpots
Companions appreciate my eccentric-ness
Everybody loves my Doctor
Even Mary Whitehouse
But nothing stops the danger
The Sontarans don’t want a peaceful life! 

Doctor of the TARDIS, guardian of the universe
Ready to twist the helmic regulator of a TARDIS or two
Eating the jelly babies, offering them to a Dalek
Pickin' up their egg whisks when they aren’t looking
Everybody loves my Doctor
Everybody's madman
I do whatever to protect
Borusa! Will this incarnation ever end? 

Doctor of the TARDIS, quick to catch yer key of time
Never wants a Zygon to impersonate his life
Friend to the brave, pain to the stupid
Friend, enemy, and complete madman!
Everybody’s ideal companion
Everybody's traveller
But keep away your cricket ball
Borusa! Won't the Ark in Space’s Autoguard destroy it whole! 

Food machine beyond repair. Zero room beyond belief
Fix it with some YoYos and pretend it's good as new
Clothes from the wardrobe, furniture from a retirement home
Filling up the TARDIS with this and that
Companions are more than welcome
Console room is occupied
Reasonable travels
Plus some little time travel along the way! 

Run away from Davros , alliance with the Master
Asking them to eat some jelly babies twice
Here a leisure hive, there a space station
My pockets are full of random stuff
When it comes to solving situations
There are a lot of tricks I know
How it all unscrews, all them nuts and bolts
Borusa! It's amazing how the Sonic works! 

I used to dream that I would travel a bit
But Rassilon Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?

 THE MASTER
Doctor of the TARDIS? Isn't worth giving him a lift!
Traveller, saviour and lifelong shit!
Cunning old man, regular annoyance
Thinks he's quite the hero but he’s not quite there
What a cruel trick of time made me with the noise in my head
God knows how I've become enemies with my best friend from the Time Lord Academy
Doctor of the TARDIS
Master is here now
Traveller, saviour
Don't make me laugh!
Friend to the desperate, grandfather to the vulnerable
Despicable and pathetic and worthy opponent! 

THE DOCTOR 
Everybody bless my Doctor!
Everybody hate my enemies!
Everybody raise a glass 
THE MASTER Throw it at the Doctor's hearts 

THE DOCTOR
Everybody raise a glass to the Doctor of the TARDIS          (10) 

The Master ran off the stage as the Doctor followed. A background of the radio telescope from Logopolis appeared as they ran back on. 

‘Come on, Master. We haven’t got much time,’ the 4th Doctor murmured under his breath.
The Master simply laughed at this as he began to sing. 

Did you really think
Did you really think
Did you really think I’d help you now
When the power’s in my hands not to
The alliance is now over. 

THE DOCTOR
Yes, I really thought
I really thought
I really thought you’d help now
If you have mecy within you
I am prepared to forgive you 

BOTH
So though I can't imagine it now
I wish you were on my side right now... 

THE DOCTOR
Master, listen to me - just say you're sorry...
You can still work with yours truly
Meet Madam Nostramudus and change your ways completely
You can be my friend once again 

THE MASTER 
NEVER, DOCTOR. I don't want it - NO – I’ll never want it anymore...    (11) 

‘Now fall to your death, DOCTOR!’ shouted the Master, laughing manically.

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